Friday, January 27th, 2012:
So, this is the Last day of my First 'round' of antibiotics. The plan is to be on antibiotics for 3 weeks, off a week, on for 3 weeks, off a week, etc. for like 9 months of longer, depending on how I progress.
The first 2 weeks, my Lyme doctor had me only on half the doses of the antibiotics to ease me into it, but this week she doubled the dose to where the dose will remain. It's been a doozy of a week! My symptoms have definitely been worse--that's bitter-sweet because it's unfortunate to feel this way & have to rest all the time (even though I believe this is a season of my life where God wants me to rest, be still before Him & pray), but at the same time it means the abx's are working, which I am SO thankful for!, so it's worth the weakness, pain, stiffness, brain fogginess, & just overall Extreme fatigue from head to toe.
During the week I take 3 abx's on Monday, Wednesday & Friday, but at the end of a round, I take a very intense abx, which I took for the first time yesterday and am taking it today. Wow!, it has made me Alot worse!!, the whole right side of my body is So weak, yet in pain at the same time. But yet again, I am SO thrilled that it's working, to where it is totally bearable, even though I feel miserable.
The Hardest part is that, in my mind, I feel like myself. I still joke & cut up & am regular 'ole Heather, but my body just will not allow me to do things. It's pretty frustrating because my mind and body are not on the same page. On the outside, I look completely fine, but on the inside I feel horrible. Not to complain, that's just the way it is.
BUT, after stating all this I am SO grateful to the Lord for leading me to my Lyme doctor and for having me on this path of healing. Yes, it's hard & is going to be a long year, but I am SO thankful these abx are working!, I praise Jesus for that!!
Some days, especially on my worse days, my mind wanders. When my mind wanders to worry & fear of the unknown & what lies ahead over the next year or longer--I start to wonder if I am truly going to be completely better within a year or so, or if maybe not, if maybe it will take 2 or 3 years, & I wonder when & if we'll be able to have a 2nd child, will Bailey have to see me take medicine & lay down to rest everyday for a long time?....and all those things like that is where my mind goes to....
Well yesterday as my mind started to wander, God gently led me to 1 Peter 5:6-11. This passage is So encouraging! (I have posted it below) In verse 7, it encourages us to cast ALL our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. But in verse 6, it tells us that, in doing this, it takes humility. Humility is hard to do when our selfish pride gets in the way; which my pride Often gets in the way!, but boy, as we just humble ourselves before the Lord, it is Beautiful what He can & will do in & through us & how He will give us a Whole new perspective on our current circumstances, but also on life in general; how this life, here on earth, is SO temporary!, & our circumstances are temporary, they are not eternal....and how this life is not about us, but All about Him & bringing Him Glory!
So, through this journey, I just want to take it One day at a time, striving to live each day to its fullest & strive to not think about the next day or days ahead--it's really a waste of time to do so, & it just gets in the way of what God can do on each single day :~)
A song that is encouraging is "Live for Today" by Natalie Grant...this song encourages me to live out what I described above :~) Here is the link if you would like to listen to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuG0L37zulg
1 Peter 5:6-11
6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting ALL your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."
- Heather Francisco
- God crossed our paths on 4-21-06...we took our time to officially start dating--we prayerfully started dating in the Summer of 2006, got engaged on 5-19-07, and God united us as one on our wedding day, 12-15-07. Exactly 1 year later, 12-15-08, we found out we were expecting our 1st child, Bailey Josiah, who was born on 8-3-09. God has blessed us beyond measure with such a precious son! We are so thankful for each other & for the amazing opportunity to raise one of His precious children. Little did we know, that a short 4 years later, we would be living out our vows, "through sickness & in health"...we hope & pray that this struggle with Lyme is going to be temporary, but right now are just taking it one day at a time, trusting God each step of the way. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9...."Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5b