About Me

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God crossed our paths on 4-21-06...we took our time to officially start dating--we prayerfully started dating in the Summer of 2006, got engaged on 5-19-07, and God united us as one on our wedding day, 12-15-07. Exactly 1 year later, 12-15-08, we found out we were expecting our 1st child, Bailey Josiah, who was born on 8-3-09. God has blessed us beyond measure with such a precious son! We are so thankful for each other & for the amazing opportunity to raise one of His precious children. Little did we know, that a short 4 years later, we would be living out our vows, "through sickness & in health"...we hope & pray that this struggle with Lyme is going to be temporary, but right now are just taking it one day at a time, trusting God each step of the way. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9...."Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5b


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

"God is God & I am man so I will never understand it all"

"God Is God"
by: Steven Cutis Chapman

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass


Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone


God's Divine Power

Nov. 13, 2006

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of hm who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverence; and to perserverence, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is near-sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if u do these things, yo will never fall and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
~2 Peter 1:3-11

In the first part, God just really touched me through his word.....his power is divine, its amazing!, its so powerful......even when we have no idea what is goin on and what lies ahead, and when we dont understand things that have happened in the past or in the near past, God is still sovereign and his power is incredible! when u r weak, he will make u strong as u seek him......u can rest in the peace, joy, and comfort that God is all u need, he is your all and everything if u have given your life over to him.....i know me personally, i am realizing more and more that all i truly need is God, my Savior.....he is my all and my everything! i yearn more of him daily and more of his word.....my heart is pouring out to him....im in love with him, but i desire to be more in love with him......his power is all we need for our brief time here on earth.

Also we are standing on his precious promises, like in verse 4......thru our faith in him and his sovereign power, he has called us to "participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption int he world cause by evil desires"......being a Christian is definitely not easy.....when u arent a Christian the devil has u under his stronghold, but once u give ur life over to God, he releases those chains from u and u are free from sin, not saying you won't sin, but that u have forgiveness from your sins, thats part of God's free gift of salvation to us......giving your life over to God, you have an everlasting hope and u r secure in the arms of your heavenly Father......the devil will come at us so hard the more we do to have a deeper relationship with God, he will try to win, but God's power will cast the devil away from us.....yea, the devil will seem very overwhleming at times and u will feel that he is overtaking ur life,.....but i'm determined not to let the devil have power over me, b/c i serve a God thats power does not compare to the mere power of the devil......that devil's tryin hard, real hard these days, and he is destroying many lives, many marriages, many relationships, homes, countries, our nation is thinking that homosexuality is ok and that there is nothing with harming your body.......your body is not yours, its God's, he created u, we are a bunch of God's lil creations walking around.......many people these days are held captive by the devil, the devil is in the minds of many people......the thing is people who have not given their lives over to God and are not a born-again Christian, then it breaks my heart, b/c these people are hopeless, they are left empty and broken, they search this world over and over for comfort and peace thru diff things like sex, drugs, alcohol, homosexuality, pornography......all these things are things this world has to offer, they will bring temporary "happiness," but Jesus is the way the truth, and the life....no one comes to the father but by him (John 14)......Knowing God personally, and having a personal relatioonship with him, growing closer to him daily is the only way to bring peace, comfort, and joy.....thru God, u receive eternal joy, not temporary happiness.........
my heart pours out to and is broken for this lost world we are livin in today.......its sad and it breaks my heart, i want to do so much to change it, somtimes what i can is limited, i sometimes get bogged down, b/c i wanna help ppl so bad, and i want them to give their life over to God so bad, but the thing that God is teaching me as i type is that he is the almighty, powerful God.....he can change the world thru his disciples planting seeds and telling people about him, but once we tell people about him, sometimes there's only so much we ourselves can do, not to say give up, but theres a point to where we have the cast them into God's almighty and powerful hands, the thing is we as Christs' disciples can tell them about God, and we can counsel ppl, and show genuine love for them, heling them as many ways as God uses us to, but there has to be a personal encounter between them and God, we dont have their hearts in our hands, we cant change their hearts, that between God and them....God is so powerful, he can change anybody or anything!!, i dont doubt that one bit!! so one thing we can definitely do is get on our knees and pray for them! prayer is amazing!! sometimes i take it for granted, and sometimes i feel like i just mumble out things....right now, i desire to spend more time with God, daily, praying for this nation, for the world we are livin in, for ppl i meet daily, for Christians that we would step up in faith, telling everyone everywhere about God, giving them an opportunity to have a life-changing experience, a divine encounter with our Lord Jesus Christ.......prayer can change this world!!, us gettin on our knees, crying out to our almighty God, he will hear our cry for mercy, and he will begin to work in amazing ways!........i desire to see a revival on campus, and also in this world, and yea from our own eyes, that seems impossible, but with God, its not, at all......God has the power to change everything in this world right now this instant, but thats not his plan, he has chosen us to be his disciples, to be used by him in this world, when Jesus ascended into Heaven, the holy spirit descended onto earth, if u are born-again, u have the holy spirit livin in u, therefore we are crucified with Christ, its not us, but Christ living within us.....His power is amazing and sufficient......wow!, i have so much in my heart to say and express, i dont know where to start.......but i'll try........the thing is, we are his disciples, we are his chosen ones, he has called us to Go, and make disciples of ALL nations.....his power is amazing and yea, he could change everything in the blink of an eye, but he has chosen to use us.....he desires to use us, can u believe that?? that amazes me! we are his servants,.....he doesnt need us, he wants us, he wants to use us.......he doesnt want us to stand still in our walk with him, he wants us to grow in our wlak with him daily.......it just amazes me how when u start to talk to someone about God, the power of God within u takes over u, its nothing u say or do, but what Christ does thru us......that just amazes me!!......i cant get over it!.......thats why if we just stand still and live this life here on earth for ourselves, putting our lives into our own hands, relying on orselves to handle things and lay things out, then we just make a mess of everything and we push God aside........over the summer, i constantly drew near to God, and i prayed for discipline and spiritual growth and made the effort to grow closer to God thru prayer and thru his word, and to be used by him in any way he would use me......but over this past lil while, i have been slipping back into my old self, i was seeking God and his will, but at the same time, i was puttin it into my own hands......right now, i still dont understand everything thats happened over this past month or so in my life, but i do understand that i was slowly putting it into my own hands, the focus was on myself and what God had in store for me and what he was gonna do with my life....as i was focusing on my life and the circumstances within my life, i began to get slack with my daily walk with God, i began not to serve the way God is calling me to, i was slack in my prayer life, this selfishness leads to confusion, fear, and doubt, but God doesnt want that for us, he did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 timothy 1:7)....being focused on ourselves and on the situaitons we are goin thru, brings stress, but focusing on God and trusting him brings rest; I dont want to be selfish and focus too much on the cirumstances i am goin thru with fear, but to lift those up daily, praising God for what we go thru, b/c there is a purpose for everything we go thru, one is to make us stronger, if we run to him thru it........either we can place our live in God's hands, surrendering Everything to him daily, trusting him and having faith that his will be be done and will be revealed in his time, and listening to his still small voice as he speaks to us........or on the other hand we can live for ourselves, putting our lives in our own hands, gettin all the voices mixed up that are around us or that are in our head, and then our lives will fall apart, we'll have a huge mess.......all those broken pieces, God wants, he wants to take them, if we give them to him, and make something beautiful of your life here on earth......will u give God all the broken pieces in your life and let him reign over yor life today?

"God, I thank you so much for this day and i Thank u for everything u have blessed me with God!, i thank u for who u are and what u have done and are doing.....God i dont know what lies ahead, im not sure whats gonna come of everything, but thats ok, i dont need to know....but God, i want u to know that i praise u and thank u for this time, i know your hand is over my life right now and i thank u for your power and your soveriegnty, yea, im human, so im excited to see whats gonna take place, but i desire to be ocntent in all cirumstances God.......right now God, i pray for this scripture and the words u have given me, the words u have laid on my heart, may u use them to reach someone as they read this.....God, i want to say im sorry for being overwhelmed with my own self this past week or so, i was too focused on what u were gonna do which brought fear to me, but God u were standing there the whole time with open arms, saying, "Heather, stop tryin so hard, rest in my arms, take the focus of what i'm gonna do and how and when im gonna do it, and put your focus on me and on others, allow me to use u daily".....goin thru this has given me such a hunger for more of u God, i wanna spend all my time with u God, i love u so much......i dont desire to question things or try to figure them out, God help me to rest in your presence, trusting u God......i love u God......
God i pray for your children....may we unite together, and set oursleves out there to be used by u God....may we be rooted in u and lay your scriptures on our hearts God.....teach us, use us, mold us and make us God.....i pray for this world God, it breaks my heart with what we are livin in today, but thru the brekaing of my heart there is so much anticipation to reach people and to tell them about u....God place a burning passion within ur children to tell this lost and broken world about u......and as we tell them about u God, and live our lives representing u, may u take over from there, God change their hearts, work in their hearts God......God i pray for your will to be done and i love u God! i give this day to u..."

Do you want to know Jesus?

Feb. 4, 2007

Who is He?
What can He do in my life?
Do I need a personal relationship with him?

If you have any questions or concerns about who Jesus is and how can you make him a part of your life, how u can have a relationship with Him, how he can make something beautiful out of your life.....to know how awesome he is and how much he loves you.....please ask! either me or someone else reading this, I hope can answer! please dont hesitate!, as u read this and feel the urge on your heart to talk to me or someone else about somethin, please just let it flow right out of your heart! 

No matter who you are, I love you and I want u to receive the greatest, most precious, free gift ever! It takes faith though! All you have to do is believe that Jesus died on the cross for you, for us, for our sins, and he rose again 3 days later and He is now alive! (Romans 10:13) He lives forever and ever! He has set us free!, Free from the bondage of sin! Accepting this free gift, developing a personal relationship with God, turning away from what it was in your life holding u captive, and living your life that He has given you for Him, u will without a doubt go to Heaven when u die!, u will never have to fear death or be alone! He will never leave or forsake you! (Hebrews 13:5)

Will you choose today to surrender your all to God and trust Him?
If so, it will be amazing what He will do with your life!....I want you to know that He has a plan for u, a beautiful one! (Jeremiah 29) if you are feeling down and hopeless, fear not!, run into the arms of your Savior and he will rescue you! Trust Him! :)
He wants to be your best friend, your Father, your counselor, your healer, your provider, your all, and your everything!

His arms are outstretched for everyone? (John 3:16) 
Will you meet Him at the foot of the cross?

You are More than Enough

February 28, 2007


A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to 
leave the examination room and said, 
"Doctor, I am afraid to die. 
Tell me what lies on the other side." 
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know." 
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, 
do not know what is on the other side?" 

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; 
on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, 
and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room 
and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. 
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 
"Did you notice my dog? 
He's never been in this room before. 
He didn't know what was inside. 
He knew nothing except that his master was here, 
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. 
I know little of what is on the other side of death, 
but I do know one thing... 

I know my Master is there and that is enough." 

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 
Lamentations 3:22, 23


April 18, 2007

Matthew 15:28

Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your
faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was
healed from that very hour.

*FAITH-that's what its all about!! :)
I believe in my heart that if we all had more faith, setting ourselves aside and humble ourselves, and take the control out of our own hands, and place it into God's and place everything into His hands, i believe that AMAZING things would happen! God is God!, He doesnt need us to do this, but thats what his plan is all about! for us to have faith and believe even tho we cannot see.....are u a faithful Paul or a doubting Thomas?...my goal is to be a faithful Paul; to continue in my faith of believing without seeing...but at the same time, we are witnesses of God everyday, just b/c Jesus has ascended into Heaven and we cant physically see him, doesnt mean we dont still see God work!, Jesus ascended into Heaven, the Holy SPirit descended onto earth.....the Holy Spirit lives in those who Believe! who have a personal relationship with God....the Holy Spirit is alive and lives in us....Salvation is here!, and he lives in us!! Thats AMAZING!!! thats sumptin to get excited about!!! God is so Awesome!! :)
And not thru our own power can we do anything at all....only by the Power of God that lives within us (Phil 4:13)....

"God of This City"

May 12,2008:

"A few weeks ago we attended Passion:Atlanta. This was the first time I heard the song God of This City, title song on Passions new release. One thing I have always enjoyed is hearing the story behind a song. This song has an amazing story. The band Bluetree from Belfast wrote the song. They were on a mission trip in Thailand in a city that is the number 1 sex tourism destination in the world. It is a very dark place. There are 30,000 female prostitutes over the age of 18 this does not include male prostitutes or females under 18. The band met the owner of a bar, really it was a brothel who invited them to play in his establishment. They were told they could play as long as people were buying drinks. So the group with Bluetree went along and bought sodas for several hours. While the band was preforming this song came to them."

This is simply amazing to me! As Christians, as Jesus' disciples we are called to reach the most uttermost parts of the earth (Acts 1:8)....that means everywhere. Many times, we are afraid to talk to "certain" people and tell them about Christ. But think about Jesus, he loved everyone unconditionally and told everyone of his love for them. I mean, who are we to judge anyone anyways. We ALL have a past....if it wasn't for God's amazing grace, then I would still be caught in my old ways....God accepted me as a poor, wretched sinner, who am I not to accept others as well. 

God has called us to be a light in this world, but not of this world. There's a difference. We are to shine our light and make a difference in this world, telling others of Christ and God's amazing grace, but not to take part in it. For example, the story behind this song....well the band played in a bar, but they shared Christ with all the pople there...they did not drink and party, but they lived a life that exemplified Christ. I just think this is amazing and should be an encouragement to everyone that truly has a relationship with God! :)

Here's one video of the song....

However, my favorite is this one because of my passion for Africa :)

God of This City
By Bluetree
Performed by Chris Tomlin

Verse 1
You’re the God of this city
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are
You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

For there is no-one like our God
There is no-one like our God

Chorus 1
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things have still to be done here

Verse 2
You’re the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You’re the King above all Kings
You are
You’re the strength in our weakness
You’re the love to the broken
You’re the joy in the sadness
You are

For there is no-one like our God
There is no-one like our God

Chorus 2
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things have still to be done here

God is THE God of this city, of this nation...and if we, as Christians, come together and believe that with ALL our hearts and live it out....then there can be a revival on our campuses and in this world! The power of God is Absolutely Amazing!!, Let's not underestimate His Power! Being a Believer, the same Power that raised Jesus from the dead is the Power living inside of you, the Holy Spirit, and God can do amazing things in and through you....it's all about having FAITH! :)

I encourage you, as well as myself, to be bold! Remember that the worse thing that can happen is someone turning their back on you or making fun of you, but think about what all Christ endured....we definitely can take some making fun of.....John 15:18-27

Unfailing Love & Giving Thanks



Wow!, God's unconditional, pure, deep, unchangeable, such beautiful, passionate love for us...this song is a glimpse of that precious Love He has for you, for me, for everyone, everywhere...

Love is a big thing in our society, well I believe everywhere--everyone So desperately wants to be loved & wants to love---the Only, I mean Only way to truly experience true, deep, unconditional love is in a relationship with Jesus Christ... & the way to that is so simple, by believing in Him, placing the faith He has so graciously given to you in Him, & daily live your life to Glorify Him--we are made By God & for God, & boy is it a beautiful thing when God grabs our heart, draws us to Him.....it's like when I pick up my son Bailey, embrace Him, but So much more deeper than that--I am imperfect, God is perfect--when He embraces us as we draw near to Him, it is life-changing & is so Amazingly Beautiful!, & we see that this life here on earth is So temporary, just a glimpse compared to the Eternity we will spend praising Him if we choose to live for Him, and if not, Know that Hell is Real!, if you do not put your God-given faith in Jesus Christ, that is where your Eternity will be--that doesn't mean to say "oh yea, I believe in that Jesus man" just to try and escape hell, I am So heart-breakingly afraid that is what So many people have done & are doing---if we just say we believe and then live our life everyday as if He doesnt even exist, dude, you are missing out SO much on All He can do in you & through you!, like I said we were created by Him & for Him--if u're reading this, He created you (Psalm 139), you have a purpose--first, to know Him & to worship Him & bring Glory to His Name in All things---and as He reveals this truth to you, all else will fall into place (Matthew 6:33).....my friend, I love you, & so desperately want u to know & experience the true, unconditional love of Christ! :~)

---this is from Ch. 4 of the book I am currently reading, "Choosing Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss...awesome read!

"....Jesus gave Himself to God and to the world, not under coercion, but with gratitude, grateful for the privilege of obeying His Father and of fulfilling the mission He had been sent to earth to complete..." (Matt 26:27; Mark 14:23, Luke 22:17-19; 1 Corinthians 11:24

"....He understood that these emblems represented His body and blood, soon to be broken and poured out in horrific fashion for the salvation of man. On a night when from human perspective He had every reason to be self-absorbed and to give in to self-pity, resentment, or murmuring, He spoke words of THANKS to His heavenly Father, words that flowed out of a thankful heart. That is no small deal. This was not just an obligatory blessing offered up before a meal. The whole meal pictured the enormous sacrifice Jesus was about to make. In giving thanks for the cup and the bread, then in giving the symbolic elements to His disciples, Jesus was saying in effect, "Yes, Father, I willingly surrender Myself to Your calling for My life, whatever the cost." He gave Himself to God and to the world, not under coercion, but with abandon, and....with gratitude, grateful for the privilege of obeying His Father and of fulfilling the mission He had been sent to earth to complete.".......dude, this is just a glimpse of this book....u gotta read it, its awesome & So encouraging! :~) 

"Give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is the Will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

So, how these 2 connect, His Unconditional Love for us & Giving Thanks.....it's not that we have to do more or not do certain things for us to be loved more or less by Him--the beautiful thing is that He Loves us, period!....there is nothing we can do or not do that will make that increase or decrease!....the whole thing is that if you think, "well since he loves me, and nothing's going to change that, so I can just live it up while i'm here on earth"....then you have missed the whole awesome incredibleness of it all......my friend, b/c of the Cross & His unconditional love for us, He sees us as righteous & in that, if we truly are filled with His precious Holy Spirit, then we are so overwhelmed by how Amazing He is that we want to praise Him, worship Him in All we say, do & think--it's not that we 'have' to but that we are so in love with Him that is what we desire to do---(Ephesians 2:8-10).....& the beautiful thing is that, God has given us the faith to even believe in the first place, & then He gives us the desire as we seek Him and are in His Presence thru the Word, thru prayer,etc.....So All the Glory goes to Him!!, Worship is Life!, not just on Sunday mornings, or when you quickly say the blessing before digging in, but in ALL things, give praise & thanksgiving to our Father! :~)


September 14, 2011

*Truths from God’s Word in times of trial, in times of waiting....

"Praise be to the LORD, for He has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. The LORD is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed one." Psalm 28:6-8

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him..." Psalm 37:7

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 13:12

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33:20-22

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5-6

‎"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

(Melody, we’re not even ‘technically’ friends on FB yet, and we don’t even know each other, but I want you to know that I read these Scriptures from your blog that Cheryl shared with me, and am going to daily read them and hold onto them…know that through your fight against Lyme Disease that God is using you and working through you; He used you tonight and we don’t even really know each other yet; that's how Amazing He is!!….I just skimmed over your blog, and He gently led me to these Scriptures you posted last October actually and He spoke volumes to me thru them...ultimately God receives All the Glory, through His Power & Sovereignty, but know that He is indeed using you...I cannot imagine your struggle for 10yrs, but momentarily, hold fast to these truths, and as God is healing you, He is using you...I just wanted you to know that...looking forward to getting to know each other)  :~)

Encouraging Songs God has comforted me through:

“While I’m Waiting”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y  

“Oceans Will Part” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7Uj_B0KNgU

“Arms Open Wide” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvNdybdyeOc&feature=related

“Oh You Bring” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVHhoWECVvE

Tuesday, Sept 13, 2011:
 “God I thank you for breaking me tonight. I thank you Lord for allowing me to have this pain & weakness; this may be just what it is taking/has taken to reach me, and you are making that clear to me more and more each day. I see how you are sanctifying me through this and that I can’t just mozy  through this life by my own strength, which is what I have been doing for quite some time now; On the surface I have been ‘Mrs. Faithful’ so to speak, but you Lord, are the only one who really knows my heart…for the past while, I have strived to bring you praise & Glory but by my own strength, speaking out loud your truths, but doubting them in the depths of my heart…I have asked everybody and their brother to be praying for me, but yet I haven’t even done so myself, not consistently……God, thank you SO much for showing me O’ so powerfully tonight that I am human, I am weak, I cannot do anything without you, and showing me even more so tonight how it doesn’t take praying & reading to be a Christian, but choosing to not take time to spend with you, daily, over time, leaves me striving to get through each day by my own human strength, and it is impossible to do so…there is No way I can be the wife or mama you have called me to be without daily, momentarily, seeking You will All my heart, and truly doing it…I have gone So long, chugging along with my own strength, and it has just made me doubtful, anxious, confused, fretful, impatient, bitter……….and I do well with disguising these, but Lord, from this moment on, I will strive to seek you every second of every day and bathe each day in prayer & reflect & study Your Word; comfort me, teach me, mold me, sanctify me, and may your sweet Spirit convict me and lead me, teach me how to be the wife, mama, and woman I so desire to be. I praise you for this pain & weakness, for without it, I would probably still be mozyin through dangling by the thread of my own strength; and over time, I have gotten to the point to where I am weak, I have nothing left, and I am so sorry Lord, that it took trial after trial, but yet at the same time I praise you for it, because without the situations our family has been through, I may not clearly see and fully understand my utter & Desperate need for you, not just once a week, once a month, or once a year, but Daily, God……I have professed this truth with my mouth to person after person, but for so long haven’t been living it out….God, thank you so much for remaining faithful and not giving up on me, and being patient when I have chosen so many things over you for comfort and answers, not necessarily bad things, but they were my top priorities over you for comfort and answers for so long…whether it be placing my trust in doctor after doctor, test after test, or even in comfort food or reality shows, & most of all, searching for, thru Tim, the intimacy and comfort that only You can give me; yes, you use my husband to bring major comfort, unconditional love, and guidance, but ultimately you are Head over our marriage Lord and I can only find True, eternal peace & pure joy in you, Lord; remind me of that daily, Lord as I seek you.....thank you Lord, help me to daily overflow my thoughts with these truths from Your Word that are written above, lead me Lord, heal me, teach me, use me, and most of All may you receive All the Glory.  In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”