Last Day of My 1st 'Round' of Antibiotics

Friday, January 27th, 2012:

So, this is the Last day of my First 'round' of antibiotics. The plan is to be on antibiotics for 3 weeks, off a week, on for 3 weeks, off a week, etc. for like 9 months of longer, depending on how I progress.

The first 2 weeks, my Lyme doctor had me only on half the doses of the antibiotics to ease me into it, but this week she doubled the dose to where the dose will remain. It's been a doozy of a week! My symptoms have definitely been worse--that's bitter-sweet because it's unfortunate to feel this way & have to rest all the time (even though I believe this is a season of my life where God wants me to rest, be still before Him & pray), but at the same time it means the abx's are working, which I am SO thankful for!, so it's worth the weakness, pain, stiffness, brain fogginess, & just overall Extreme fatigue from head to toe.

During the week I take 3 abx's on Monday, Wednesday & Friday, but at the end of a round, I take a very intense abx, which I took for the first time yesterday and am taking it today. Wow!, it has made me Alot worse!!, the whole right side of my body is So weak, yet in pain at the same time. But yet again, I am SO thrilled that it's working, to where it is totally bearable, even though I feel miserable.

The Hardest part is that, in my mind, I feel like myself. I still joke & cut up & am regular 'ole Heather, but my body just will not allow me to do things. It's pretty frustrating because my mind and body are not on the same page. On the outside, I look completely fine, but on the inside I feel horrible. Not to complain, that's just the way it is.

BUT, after stating all this I am SO grateful to the Lord for leading me to my Lyme doctor and for having me on this path of healing. Yes, it's hard & is going to be a long year, but I am SO thankful these abx are working!, I praise Jesus for that!!


Some days, especially on my worse days, my mind wanders. When my mind wanders to worry & fear of the unknown & what lies ahead over the next year or longer--I start to wonder if I am truly going to be completely better within a year or so, or if maybe not, if maybe it will take 2 or 3 years, & I wonder when & if we'll be able to have a 2nd child, will Bailey have to see me take medicine & lay down to rest everyday for a long time?....and all those things like that is where my mind goes to....

Well yesterday as my mind started to wander, God gently led me to 1 Peter 5:6-11. This passage is So encouraging! (I have posted it below)  In verse 7, it encourages us to cast ALL our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. But in verse 6, it tells us that, in doing this, it takes humility. Humility is hard to do when our selfish pride gets in the way; which my pride Often gets in the way!, but boy, as we just humble ourselves before the Lord, it is Beautiful what He can & will do in & through us & how He will give us a Whole new perspective on our current circumstances, but also on life in general; how this life, here on earth, is SO temporary!, & our circumstances are temporary, they are not eternal....and how this life is not about us, but All about Him & bringing Him Glory!

So, through this journey, I just want to take it One day at a time, striving to live each day to its fullest & strive to not think about the next day or days ahead--it's really a waste of time to do so, & it just gets in the way of what God can do on each single day :~)


A song that is encouraging is "Live for Today" by Natalie Grant...this song encourages me to live out what I described above :~)   Here is the link if you would like to listen to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuG0L37zulg 


1 Peter 5:6-11
6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting ALL your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

I Have to Learn to Not Over Do it!!

So this is my 2nd week of antibiotics. These first two weeks, she started me on half the dose I should be taking to start off gently; which I have done okay, but have definitely had some rough days, especially when I over do it. I do not mean to, I just try to go and do a few things, but then my body just won't go anymore, which is what happened today.

I had my 2nd eye appointment today, the first one being in 8th grade :~) My eyes have been fine up until this past year & have gotten Alot worse over the past two months or so. But I do have a stigmatism--my new, wonderful eye doctor, which I highly recommend to anyone, Dr. Burt at Palmetto Eye here in Rock Hill, said that is what is causing my blurry & double vision, and this is not related to Lyme, but the weakness/tiredness in my eyes is definitely related to me having Lyme disease. So, I do have to get glasses, but I am kind of excited about it because they make some cute ones these days :~) hehe

But yea, I just went to my eye appointment & to Walmart just to grab a few things, and by the time I got Bailey from my mama's & got him down for a nap, it felt as if my body had an on/off switch and like someone had switched it to off.

So, God is really teaching me that I just need to realize that during this "night" (as in the theme of my blog), during this season of life, I have to just slow down & rest, rest, rest. And, He has really been revealing to me here lately that during the times of rest to just be still before him (Psalm 46:10) & to pray, to just be in a constant state of prayer. I have yet to be obedient to this tug on my heart, but He's definitely tugging & waiting on my obedience.

I want to wake up each day talking to God & just leaving the conversation open all day & not say Amen til I lay my head on my pillow :~)

So, yea, this is going to be a long 9 month or longer journey & I am one to constantly want to be on the go, but God is teaching me that I just Have to rest; I do not have a choice at this point. And I know that is for a reason. God has and is and will do mighty things through this, I know it! It is exciting to see Him daily at work & I look forward to what He is going to do through this; I praise Him for what He already has done through this--every single detail He's worked out to make this treatment plan happen, the people He's placed in my life as a result of having Lyme, & just for the daily deepening of peace He gives me even on my very worst of days! :)

Ultimately, what is most important is Him receving All the Glory, so I hope & pray that He is in every single way, and that He would use me in the lives of others, to encourage them...that is my hope & my desire! :~)


So, next week is Week 3 of antibiotics; she is doubling the doses of all of my antibiotics, which is the dose I should be at--we will see how that goes--as you think of our family, please pray!, pray that my body will respond well & pray that God will heal my body through this long treatment plan---whether He heals me in two weeks, two months, or two years, or even if it's not here on earth, I know He has promised relief, which is what my whole blog is focused on, Joy in the Morning.

I can't wait for that relief, but if I spend every single day anticipating it, then I could really be missing out on what God may be trying to teach me or do through me for His Glory.

I'm actually thankful for this suffering, even though it could be So much worse, because it daily reminds me of my sin & that there are diseases as a result of a fallen world, of our sin--and this daily reminds me of my Desperate, desperate need for Jesus!, I cannot do Anything without Him!, I praise Him for the Cross & for dying for you, for me; that He bore our sin, so that we may receive His rightesouness.....o' the Gospel is So beautful & So powerful & I praise Him for it! :~)

Week One Down, maybe 50 or so to go....

Week one of intense antibiotics down, only 50 or so more weeks to go :~)


Praise to Jesus that I am actually doing pretty well. This is the last day of my first week; I take the supplements everyday, but the antibiotics only on Monday, Wednesday, & Friday. Thankfully, the supplements, meds, & Gluten free diet are really helping with energy, sleep, anxiety, & so thankful they are helping with the nausea; the nausea is getting a little better. Hopefully with time, it will get even better :~)


A few of my symptoms have gotten slightly better, but I still just feel so weak & lethargic all over even though the supplements are helping with energy, my whole body just feels so heavy & just 'blah' basically :)


That's the most difficult part, on the outside I look completely fine & dandy, but on the inside it feels like my body is just giving out sometimes. I do try to push myself to be able to continue doing things, especially more important family things, but I do get plenty of rest because that is important, and it helps me to save up energy to be able to do things on the weekend with family, which I am thankful for. :~)


Speaking of being thankful, I Highly recommend you read this book called, "Choosing Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh Demoss....it is such an encouraging, yet convicting book. God has reminded me through it, that during trials in our life, it is our choice to be thankful or not. No matter what we have been through, are going through, or will go through, there is something within that situation we can be thankful for. Pick that something out and praise God for it!, It may help to make a list of people & things you are thankful are--daily look at that & realize the situation may not be so bad after all (that's someting I have yet to do, but need to) :~)


The key in this still boils down to having a relationship with God--everyone can be thankful, but when you truly Know God, not just 'believe' in Him, you will see the world through His eyes and not your own, & there will just be a whole different insight on life period.




So, I went from talking about my first week of antibiotics to being thankful, and yes they are connected. During this long time of treatment (sorrow may last for the night), I could wallow around & be full of self-pity, which I am Definitely guilty of sometimes, or I can choose to be thankful; thankful for a diagnosis, for a treatment plan, thankful for a time that God will give me relief (but Joy comes with the morning)--aside from health, thankful for my amazingly, supportive husband, our precious son that is So easy-going it makes things easier for me on my worse days, thankful for a lovely extended family-the sweet bond we have, I love!....and the list could go on......
~Psalm 30:5~


I say all that to say that through anything, let's Choose to be Thankful! :~)




**1 Thessalonians 5: 16-19--^"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit."


**Phil 4: 11-13-- (this is Paul speaking) "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."


--->One thing I just thought about from Phil 4--the next to last verse says, "I have learned"....meaning it does take time, you're not going to just up and have a gentle spirit about whatever it is you are going through----yes, it's a choice as I spoke about before, but it is also learned, & takes practice...
If you're a true Christ follower, the Spirit dwells within you & convicts you--through that conviction, you are disciplned & you learn, just like a child--which we are children of God!...not to say we can sit back & not do anything since the Spirit is at work--we have to actively pursue God with All our might, Daily.
For example, yes I teach Bailey, but he is actively pursuing things; like his letters, colors, & numbers--I teach him, but he doesn't just sit back & say Mommy's going to do it all; he has his part in learning as well, just like us as children of God :~)

Gluten Free--not so bad after all :~)

So, part of my Lyme treatment plan is going Gluten-free--which at first, I was like, "Oh no", it's going to be boring, because if you know me, you know I have slipped by my whole life, now being 25, without any, I mean Any fruits & veggies, other than potatoes, so this is a Big Deal :~).....but now, 2.5 weeks into it, it's not so bad after all. And a plus, I've lost 8 pounds in 2.5 weeks!! :~)

I just wanted to list what I eat throughout the day & see if anyone has anything to say about it :~)


**Breakfast-- i make a smoothie, and Bailey sees me making it and always wants one too, so i make a lil extra....precious! :~)

I use:

1. Coconut Milk (just enough to cover ingredients)
2. Frozen Blueberries (a lil handful--great  b/c of the antioxidants)
3. Frozen Strawberries--(like 5 or 6--on berries, i get frozen ones at Walmart)
4. About 8-9 Spinach leaves---you totally can't taste them---a good way to sneak in the greens :~)
5. About 4-5 lil round carrots---i get the frozen bag at walmart for $0.98, and boil them--Bailey eats them for lunches and/or suppers sand i also use them for my breakfast smoothie
6. And today I started adding a handful of Kale into it--(couldn't taste it at all, but a great way to get some greens in me)

& with this smoothie I eat about a handful of the Gluten Free Chex, which is like right under $4 at Walmart--its green & white & says GF on it.....



**For lunch, i usually do a toasted sandwich, only one slice of Gluten Free bread, that I got in the frozen section at Bi-Lo, the Udis brand for like $4.98---i only use one piece of bread to make it last b/c of the price, but mostly b/c of carbs.....I'll eat it with a lil turkey or roast beef---maybe a lil cheese :)


**Snacks--Lay's plain chips are gluten free, peanuts are ok, and on the 2nd chip aisle at Walmart, they make these awesome chips/veggie straws--they make the veggie ones & the cheese ones--Bailey & I love them & they are so much healthier!, as eating them, they feel so much lighter than previous cheese doodles I have eaten, such a better feeling....the Key is that you have to look at labels--if it say 'modified', or 'wheat' anything, then its a no no, or artificial flavoring.....


**Supper--i get a pack of fresh chicken strips, the ones that are all natural, around $5 at walmart----i marinate them in extra virgin olive oil, seasoning salt, parsley, and a lil spinach cut up to where it looks like parsley, yesterday I added Kale as well, cut it up as small as parsley......i bake these at 350 degrees for like 40 min--they are yummy!, and they last at least 3 days or longer for suppers-----also bacon is ok, so sometimes i'll have bacon (drain the grease) & 2 or 3 eggs, cuz eggs are Great to have!

---Also for supper, a few days ago I tried a sweet potato--i've tried it before, but didnt like it---now that i can't really have potatoes, but if i do they need to be sweet potatoes, i was like let me try this again----so i boiled the whole potato--on med-high for like 25 min or so, then cut it up into lil pieces---i have this lil packet of seasoning called bacon & chives--its like $0.98 at walmart near the potatoes---you add extra virgin olive oil to it and dip the potatoes in it---then i broiled them for like 5 min or so in my oven---they were yummy!!, you can also put cinnamon on them!, a nice little dessert :~)....I even got Bailey to eat them, although he eats pretty much all fruits & veggies :~), but I was like, "Bailey they are orange--yummy!"....hen said "Urnge....mmmm" & ate away :~)


So, if you have Lyme or maybe Celiac Disease, or going Gluten Free will benefit anyone; it's only a major plus for anyone :~)

So, if I can do it, you can do it!!....& this all goes back to the title of my blog, "Joy in the Morning"...the sorrow does last for the night, like I have said before. Personally, my 'night' could be weeks, months, years, or longer, but God does promise relief, & I praise Him for that!

And also, we are called to take care of our bodies, they are a temple of the Holy Spirit, if you are a believer, (1 Cor 6:19-20), we were bought with a price--Jesus bore our sin on the Cross, that we may receive His righteousness--this is a Big deal--we are His Creation, therefore we should take care of our bodies--having to go Gluten free is a blessing in disguise for me, that I am so thankful for!

Hope you have a lovely & blessed day!! :~)